The Estrogen Fishbowl

It is an end of an era

2007-01-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

This is the end of an era. The estrogen fishbowl will be no longer.

as The Estrogen Fishbowl has ended.

With Ze Queen leaving we all suffered a great loss

Lacy was an amazing co-star, but she found a different path.

The Estrogen fishbowl never recovered after the loss of our friends.

As sands through the hour glass, so our the days of our lives...

As one door closes another opens.

As one departs, the others must be boiled, in order to be used again, huh?

Any who... we are a changing. 2006 was a hard year, that taught us a shit load.

We were tested, we were challenged and we survived. Life goes on.

Nothing is constant but change, so the bowl is changing too.

This may be the last post from Drunk Dialer, Ze Queen, Shinola and Lacy may post their final good byes.

The new blog is Absolutely Fabulous. I think we are going to suck it up and go to my space for it as well. We will let everyone know as soon as we do.

Gentle reader, remember this, you are here because you are a depraived individual. Relish yourself and your depraivity, thats why we buds.

Lessons from 06

2006-12-26T21:56:00.000-08:00

What little thoughts have plauged me this year? It has been a year of triumphs and Hardships.

1. Left a job, into a vat of nothingness...
2. Went to Beauty School. I will be able to do Hair, Nails, Mani and Pedi's.
3. Came to the realization that I equated my degree with dignity. Decided could have used the degree to yak on, while cleaning Hollie's teeth, because she likes to eat her own shit.
4. Went on first real date. Guy came over, brought me flowers, paid for the date.
Answer is: 2 fat people shouldn't fuck.
it aint pretty, it aint right. Trust me, I am one I know. two stress balls in flesh and cracks.. not right. not right.

5. Took a huge leap into who I really am.
Really fucking up right now.
Trying to work through some shit.
doing the best I can. before admitting I should see someone. asking for help.

6. I am a little weird.
7. The beginnings of Biography on A&E "the Absolutly Fabulous Salon began its display in a cabin at a nudist resort." Thought of in 2006.

8. My hatred toward Sex and the City girls is no longer because they are whiny.. but because I am one of them. I can relate to their bitter lonely whines.

9. I am seeing patterns in my life. I want the drunken man, I see he is infectous. I must have him.
That is bad. I just don't know why.. this one could be different. I know not to take him home. He has another sugar mama.. I just want a small taste.. just one time to play with his balls...once to suck and pull.
but he has a mullett.
a mullett.
That can not fit in the projection of my new life.

But I could cut that Mullett off.. I could style his hair, man...he makes me want ...umm.

10. Finally, I learned the same lesson twice in the same year, Don't eat what a dillard hands you..

I just don't see it

2006-11-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

Places Paul's pillow has been

2006-10-31T20:06:00.000-08:00

My friends, my friend Paul came to visit me.
He was kind, sweet, and one of the best guests we ever had.
He left his brand new pillow.

I haven't had a new pillow in years.

I have a new pillow. But like Paul who plans to head onto adventure in the land of the Amish, his pillow has been well traveled. I don't think the Amish even use pillows. Just straw.

Pauls Pillow has been in a total of 3 states.
It has been to mountains of One of the Carolina's..
It has been to the GA. mountains and camped at a nudists colony, it wore flannel.
To the beaches of the Florida golf coast.
where will it go next? will it ever find its way back to its rightful owner?
Perhaps the pillow likes it where it is Round and Saucy.

The saga of Paul's displaced pillow will continue!

The Monster Mash

2006-10-31T20:00:00.000-08:00

It was a smash? I was smashed.

The Monster mash? Who wasn't mashing honey.

It took off in a flash? Funny seemed to last forever.

The Monster Mash? Mash? who wants a spank darlin?

It was a grave yard smash. Who knows? we'll check the photos and tell ya.

Reasons Why Stewie is a Dork.

2006-10-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

Stewie has denied being a dork. But we all know the truth...

Stewie has been known to use the word "exponentially" in conversation at 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
In a situation that dealt with the degree of the sun verses the degree of the tent, and the math... Equal big cooked 32 yr old..
Made reference to the Borg.
Was afraid of admitting he made reference to the Borg. We won't give you a wedgie Stewie..You don't wear undies...
It takes one to know one...

Dork love..Is the best love..

Happy Birthday SiSI!

2006-10-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

I wish I could have been there.
to see if you were all bare.

I wish I could have been there.
To see is there was a scare.

I wish I could have been there
to see if it was our gift.

Words to describe the event have not been chosen, I am unsure if it is lack energy.. The dip is a place that few can survive with out at least an odd feeling that you had a good time.

I missed you all. Until next time..
Remember nude day at the salon.. Why did god make pubic hair cury? Because he was the only one who can make rolers that small.

Happy Fall!!

2006-10-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Fall Ya'll! It is the most wonderful time of the year here at the fishbowl. The temprature is becoming tolerable again and the leaves are showing the first hints of color. The decorations are coming out and the the spirits are rising.

Sorry that the fishbowl has been dormant for a little while. We have all been very busy. Here is a quick update.

The entire fishbowl crew (along with the Rainmaker and other fishbowl friends) went to St George Island in Florida. It was a wonderful and much needed vaca.

I (Shinola) have been working two jobs and spending the weekends in Subligna with the Rainmaker. So that is why I have not been able to post in a long time.

DD, has started beauty school and we are planning our salon. It is set to open (fingers crossed) in about a year. It will be called Absolutely Fabulous and we are looking at the Cartersville area.

Lacy has found love and will be soon be moving in with her new beau.

Upcoming events:

This weekend we are going to the Dip to celebrate my Mom's 50th Birthday!
On the 28th we will be holding the annual fishbowl Halloween party.

Stay tuned for more updates!!!!!!!!!

Priceless..

2006-09-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

We will miss you Diabetic Kitty, Diabetic Evil kitty..

2006-09-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

1990 - 2006

Sometimes Dead is Better.

Here is a quickie catch up.

2006-09-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

Shinola and DD are going to open a boutique..
DD is going back to cosmotology school (after a psych degree from Purdue) so She can earn money.
Lacy is still has her school spirit and is waiting on the temp squad to be moved to Varsity.. and has to wait to get her money from her two slack poor ass roomates.
Shinola having a sucessful full time job, has taken a second job to help make her car break down less.

DD works in a group home, a home of MR/DD, and MH, run by a religous family of penecostals. Penecoastals.. I asked about talking in tongues thing.. its true. They have all heard it and been involved in that. TBird, the least penecoastal of them all, and coolest chic, std its more of a deep meditation. I HAVE NO MONEY!!

So What do I do.. I go to beauty school, get with my best friend, who..likes to read and is detail oriented. to start up a buisness.

The state of being above gave birth to our dream.. a stoli darling, a laugh and a cheers, thanks alot created Absolutely Fabulous.

I also have found that I LOVE MY SARRONG.
Which Shinola agreed that pretty much confirms the fact we are closet nudists.. it will be soon.. we will be nudists.
Damn..I liked having you guys as freaky friends.. now I may be one of you. You are like the Borg.
I know you know what that means stewie. Dork.

Who wants to see our Pussy?

2006-08-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

Do you want to see our Pussy? She is young, sweet and needs lots of attention and love. She loves to be chased and likes things that hang in her face.

HA!

Now here are the rest of the pics.. We have one with Lacy and Wicket Hissy Fit, Don't they look cute?

Now.. Here is a pic of Sinola and The RainMaker with Wicket.

Finally, a pic of DD. For the first time ever on the site... the pic that almost got DD into Hustler!

DD's Gwinett tour.

2006-08-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

Take the DD Gwinnett tour
Here is what you will see as promised to my friend Lonita, when she comes to visit!

DD: I can't wait to see you. What would you like to do? Where would you like to go? Gwinnet? Hmmm...We can go to the Marriott. I can show you where I had sex in a bathroom. We can't go in now.. it was the men's bathroom. We could grab a drink on the porch, and I will show you where I was fingered. Or we can go to T G I Fridays. Whatever. DD

Who doesn't want to come visit me?

Lonita picked the Marriott.. Thats why we are buds... she is a dirty girl too.

Dave's Pics

2006-08-02T22:32:00.000-07:00

Dave's Pics

$50 bucks and I have to pay for my drinks?

2006-07-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

So I finally had the dreaded high school reunion. It was not as bad as I had feared. Before going in, I was gripped with the same old anxiety that had been so much a part of my highschool experience. I don't know why, I am not the same geeky girl I was then. I have since become a stylish dork. So, after a little mood adjuster (provided by my best friend from highschool) I was ready.

First I looked good. I really did, and it was awesome. Second some of the really skinny girls are not skinny anymore! That is always a great thing to see. Third I felt better about my recent divorce when I found out that one girl I was friends with back in the day, had been divorced twice and married 3 times. She was trashed and sitting holding court by the pool tables. I thought that was pretty cool when she was like "Yah, he's number 3" pointing to her new husband (He just laughed.) Then I talked to the guy that sat behind me (we both have D last names) for four years and he introduced me to his boyfriend. I guess the D was for Denial. No one was surprised by either of us.

However I must say that paying $50 for a ticket, they could have given us free drinks. At least a few. I was really a little pissed about that. The buffet was buffet food and didn't look that appealing so I didn't eat. Also the slide show was mostly the same A group people plus a bunch of yearbook pictures. I was in one of the last ones. I guess I can't bitch though...They asked for pictures and my slack ass did not send any.

Overall I was glad I went because, well, I looked good. Having been a major geek throughout highschool, it was nice to look around and see that I am doing pretty damn well. Plus I have a hot girlfriend. So really who won in the end.

I don't have a real job.

2006-07-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

I don't have a real job. I don't have a real job. I don't have a real job. I don't have a real job. I don't have a real job. I don't have a real job. I don't have a real job. I don't have a real job. I don't have a real job.
I need money. Will give case work for money. I need money. I need money I need money. Will work for Discover Card Payment. Will work for Discover Card Payment.

Ohhhh, Chocolate and sex..

2006-07-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hey there kids,
Paul, my hippie, reading, music loving dream man has introduced me to a new pod cast.. and simply, its funny. I am putting it on the links and if you have a sec, check out the SEX and CHOCOLATE show..

Its about Sex and Chocolate.

Not about having sex with chocolate.. a beautiful chocolate warrior, one that tastes sweet, with sculputred sholders, and strong thighs. A dark chocolate man who moves within and makes your own creamy center. An explosion of bliss on your tongue or anywhere where else, ohh be careful not to drip a drop, but I digress, and I am enjoying my daydream...
anywho..
Check out Ggirl and the man. they have a funny radio/pod cast.

incase I can't do the link properly.. here it is.. http://www.clickcaster.com/sexandchocolate

Sending Love

2006-07-24T01:03:00.000-07:00

Our hopes are prayers are with you

Baby, Daddy and family.

Baby, we love you.

Get well soon

I know you have been waiting, The time has come...

2006-07-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

Here it is, a recollection of the past week as interrogated by Sgt. Enthama of the GAPAO. georgia party ass off police..

Week of July 4th.
Is it true that
on the weekend of July 4th you went to the Dip? A nudist camp
? -- yes that is true.

And can you explain how you felt about going to such a place?
-- I couldn't wait to get hugs from drunken, naked people.
I waited and counted the days to go up to the Dip and see all my friends. Liver, Gamerstu, Sissi and Chick, Skipper, Chief hollicowa, Baby and Daddy... I couldn't wait to see all those beautiful naked people and get hugs. I admit it. I love those crazy nudists.
Why were you there?
For the Dip's 10 anniversary.... and to watch Shinola's new gf (the Rainmaker) react to being around nudists... I couldn't miss that... I had to see that.
What happened while you were there?
Thats where it gets fuzzy...
I remember:
drinking, then getting to the camp.
HUGS, HUGS, Hugs,...love those hugs..
I remember a wonderful show,
There was a solo artist, the audience was entertained by a man with a guitar, a mushroom head and massive balls on the big screen. I think that was his name.
He sang of laughter, and joy. He sang of aiming for a goal and experiencing glee at your piercing your target. He sang of taking time out of you day and enjoying a roll in the tall grass, and laughter. A message of hope and love.
Then the slide show, of the early nudists. It amazed me how they all had beards.. You can choose which location, which head..
Then the fireworks show. Spectacular. The only ones I chose to watch all year long.
After the show.. Can you tell me about your time?
Well... Its a blur.
dancing. Drinking. Making shooters, shooters. Kids listening to the wisdom of an unemployed, drunken spinster, clothed at a nudist camp.
But they were lovely girls. They possessed intelligence and dignity far beyond their years. With just enough of that teenage angst and ignorance. A testimony to the village that guides them.
Then I remember dancing, boobies touching, Ahh Daddy... You are my boob buddy.
and waking up from camping. Yes. I camped. I slept on the ground for 4 hours. I am camper. I am like grizzly Adams.
Then I went up to the lodge and vomited in the toilet.
and got it all over my shirt.

I love the dip. I know I had a great time, even when I don't remember it all.

To all the members at the Dip,

Happy Anniversary

from

The Estrogen Fishbowl.

GAY PRIDE 06...six is for sex.

2006-06-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

Well guys and gents its been a great gay pride..
earlier in the week DD started the week with a panty show and bath
for two.. Shinola and Kimmy! You lucky girls...

Next, came Lacy meeting up her own celebration of sexual freedom...Heterosexuality. Have I heard of that once...Where was that?
Anywho.. Lacy got some of her own Lucky Charms to practice the lessons of Chode-a.

Sure he can't drink a Pol' under the table, but propps to Long Island Irish.. he can sure buy a great CD and give a girl a smile... With music and other ways...hmm Lacy?

Ohh am I starting smack with the New York Irish guy...Watch me, with one hand tied behind, my back in a Japanese rope, and a whip in the other hand so when I pull my whip the rope tightens and I can feel it against my skin... Yea I am talking smack.

Kimmy is going to go Chap Shopping.. I begged her not to go without me. I GET TO GO CHAP SHOPPING.

For her new scooter.
where did that tangent come from?

The parade was rained out.. At least for the bowl, there was a flash flood the night before Shinola was squirting so much. The girls decided it was too wet to go downtown...seems strange now..

Steph became The Rainmaker...

The Rainmaker and The Incredible Shriking Duo were over with their boy Rubbin... As I walked into a sex shop with my four lesbian friends and the 18 year old gay boy who never had a real gay porno, or been to a sex shop.. I wondered why don't I have a boyfriend?

Slid into the bowl about 1 am. watched terrible porn, a telephone will never be the same and nurses when alone, do it all the time.

More Gay male porn in the Morning, and then quiet, where I listened to the songs of Johnny Cash, enjoyed a nice dinner and a movie. Great night, Great friends..

Great time with the Rainmaker, the cutest -sweetest one has the account to a xxx store.. Once the documentation has begun you can not deny your secret life. The Rainmaker turns the sweetest candy apple Red, when rubbed against and tickled with a feather in the store, run from me.. i will run after you..just like Peppy Le Peu.. and spank you for being a bad little girl..to the delight of the employees and myself..

Pride, I spent more time with Lesbians, male lesbians, and gay boys, porn, then any straight woman should. I watched the gay porn with a nostalgia in my gut.. I remember that. Its like riding a bike, just got to get on?

OHHH the best.. Watching Shinola watch a jizz scene,

She GAGS!!!

Oh yea.. Its all worth seeing another girl get dry heaves.

Final word Johnny Cash is a Music God, Why didn't I ever get into him when I was younger.., Why didthey say he was country?

Then the weekend ended to a cultural look into the sex industry and culture of Geisha, fighting to fight against the prostitue and the artist. All freedom from sexuality and the right to love who you wish.

Honesty, hopefully the best policy

2006-06-07T23:48:00.000-07:00

This is what I have up in a personal's website.. Its my what do you want in the man answer..

someone who thinks that they can interject witty antidotes and crack up about inappropriate things. Then have incredible sex. For hours..In the morning be able to joke with my roomies when they judge how good you were, from how loud I was. Joke around with my best friend who is a lesbian, and question who ate more pussy in their life time, or who has the best techniques. i want a man who would love that morning. Then go to work, have his own car and apartment. And if he was really into a fat chick who has a tongue ring but will treat her like an intelligent and sophisticated woman, then that would be cool too.

That is my personal, this is my new objective for my resume.

Objective
Greedy psychology major seeks a new career that is not in the social services field, immense salary to pay off student loans would be a plus.

Validations and introspections..

2006-05-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

Trust in the fact that Shinola's position has been filled. I heard her position filled all damn weekend.

It was filled again and again.. The new girl is a go getter..

And as for GAMERSTU...I told you the test is fixed! It can't be valid! You are proving my point! A man who goes to work naked!

A Republican....

Lacy is dating a new guy..

Will he light up her nights? We all have hope.

Finally, Dear Dipsters

I agree, I would have had a much better time with yall.

In Dante's test you would be Heaven.

We will see you soon..

Is that fish I smell?

Its the guppie girls from the fishbowl!!

The position has been filled/Hello DIP

2006-05-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

For all those interested in the previous help wanted post, I am happy to say that the position has been filled. I will be taking my new GF, therefore guaranteeing that I will get laid afterward (that is unless I get too hammered or do something really stupid.)

See how everything works out.

Also as a side note to our friends at the Dip, WE MISS YOU, and the fishbowl is trying to plan a trip up, but with Ze Queen gone it is hard to find pet sitters. Trying to get one lined up now, but I don't want to jinx it. Plus, I would like for my new girl to meet Mom and Dad clothed first, call me crazy. The Dillards can be a little intimidating, and I don't want to add to that. Don't worry, I will bring her up soon so everyone can meet her. We talk about ya'll constantly and I think she is getting curious too. Besides, what is more fun than naked swimming?

The incestual, drunken Red Neck Pool Party

2006-05-28T22:57:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting weekend.
I give credit to two individuals:

1. I was stood up Friday, by a 23 year old. How sad...
He was interesting too, now a dissapointment.

2. Due to my ego being slightly bruised and a lack of plans, I decided to go out with my cousin Kimmy. It is our tradition to spend a holiday together. Because the men we date usually aren't around at the holidays.. either they have disappeared or they are just asses.

So...
Last year on Memorial Day we got tongue rings.
The year before, we went to a boat party... My phone fell in the lake (when talking to my ex) and then I started making out with some guy who earlier had "dibbs" on Kim.

This year took the cake. Kimmy took me to an

Incenstual Drunken Redneck pool Party.

It was like a nascar race with family members who you suspect have slept together.. so it was a nascar race but at a pool.
I had a great time after a bottle of vodka. Then I could understand their southern drawl and they, my slurred speech.

Teddy-bear the 23 year old called. Said he was sick. I called him back.. kimmy said I was a bit bitchy, had some drunk man tell him something. Yea.. a drunk redneck who may have slept with his cousin.. Teddy should be SOOOO Jealous.

The tale of my life.. waiting and setteling..

On the bright side, The drunken rednecks.. were nice. I had a great time. They were kind to me.. and they showed up, (even if it was to sleep with their cousin.)

Hello there Aunt Flo!

2006-05-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Tears and Chocolate..It has begun.

The Curse of the woman, The anguish of a roommate.

Shinola has started, DD is days away.

Let the Blood Flow..

what layer are you on?

2006-05-19T05:47:00.000-07:00

This is where both DD AND Shinola lie.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

What are you looking at?

2006-05-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

It ain't easy being cheesy!

Happy Mothers Day!

2006-05-14T13:33:00.000-07:00

To all the mothers, Happy Mothers Day. And to all the mother fuckers, make sure they have a happy Mothers Day.

Shove it where? Again?

2006-05-10T14:49:00.000-07:00

I have to say I am so tired of men asking me to shove things up their asses.

When did men become so anal? Remember the good old days.. girls being worried of men trying to put it up the girls ass?

Well days have changed! Now it is commonplace and a little boring to have a guy ask me to shove something up their ass.

EX: Hey my name is dick.. I have a 9.5 inch penis.. would you like to shove a mail box up my ass?

EX2: Could you pass the salt? And shove this ham bone up my ass?

I suck balls.. BALLS. I love balls. I love to suck dick. BUT NOOOOO.

Here is the deal. I have a very sensitive nose. There is no way that I will be able to lick your ass either. I will get the dry heaves and believe me.. there is nothing sexy about me getting the dry heaves.

Love is in the air.. too bad for men they all seem to like it in their derrier aire..

Wanted a man: one who doesn't mind naughty times. One who likes to get freaky. But remembers that there is more to sex than shoving things up there. Do I look like I am wearing a prison jump suit? I don't look good in orange or horizontal stripes. Is that tits tattooed on your back?

ahhh the prison bitch.

my prison bitch.

Help Wanted, Apply With in

2006-04-26T14:10:00.000-07:00

Okay so, I was talking to a friend about my upcoming 10 year high school reunion when it hit me. Now, I don't have a date! Oh my God! What am I going to do?

Meeting women is harder than you would think. I am finding it so much harder than it was college. But well, that was college,and there were a lot of girls just starting to figure out their sexuality, and even some who were just sluts. I played my part well. That is kinda how I met Ze Queen.

Lately, I have been making a real effort to go out, and to go out where there will be lesbians. I go to the bars, and bbq's with the rugby girls. It is nice to get out, but it is hard sometimes, because most bars down here do the "fish fry" (lesbian night) on Thursday nights. Thursdays are my early day, so I am running on empty by the time I leave. But, I go. I had been going to Hoedowns in Midtown, but this Thursday is Le Buzz, I have not been on Dyke night, so it should be fun. I hope it brings out more women, 'cause pickin's are usually slim at Le Buzz. That bar was better married.

I have also been talking to a few girls online, here and there, but let's face it...it is online. There have been a few really interesting girls. The problem is that these things cost money. To say more than hi, wink or woo, it cost on average $30/month. I do like OkCupid.com...it's free. Mainly for the test because I am a test junky.

But the problem still remains. Who the hell am I going to take to my 10 year reunion? Wanted:

SGWF ISO SBi/GF for a date for July 22nd, 2006. Must be smart, funny, and attractive, be able to dance and impress large numbers of strangers. Wanting to sleep with me afterwards a plus, not a must. Smoking/Drinking Ok. Please respond by May 15th.

new posts coming soon!

2006-04-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

We will be posting soon. The bowl is freaky!
Freaky naughty

Birthday Wishes

2006-04-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY BABY RAY!!!!!

Who's the slut now!

2006-04-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

No longer can DD say anything about anyone being a slut. She has out done herself this time.

We went out on Saturday night. Before we left the house DD had already had a 32oz drink. She drank another on the way. For those who really know DD, it was one of THOSE nights. By the time we got to where we were going, she was lit.

Since we had recently discovered that DD and I can't work a bar together and hook up at the same time, we split up. That was probably the first mistake. She continued to drink and went out to the patio to troll for men. After being there for about an hour, she talked to this guy DJ, who was already attached and instructed him to bring her a man. He asked what kind..."A black man that knows how to move," she replied.

He came back with this "pocket brother," seriously the guy was about 5'0". It was funny, she called him Ez E. She proceeded to make out with him and do dirty dirty things on the patio. After he left she found another small man to do dirty things with. All the while still drinking. She lost track of time, money and her common sense.

After a while she came back in and told us she needed to go to the bathroom. I nodded, just happy she checked in, and let her stumble off alone. Lacy Panties asked if we should follow and I said, "No, she is fine," (second mistake) and went back to my conversation. About 15 minutes later the bar was closing and DD was no where to be found. She had not come back to the bar.

The search began. We had a bunch of people helping us search at first, then two girls sitting in the lobby told us she had gone with some guys in the elevator to their hotel room. Three guys to be exact. We were really worried then, but I decided there was not much I could do short of knocking on doors, so Lacy Panties and I waited with our other friends for DD to resurface.

By the time she had been missing for about 45 minutes, some guy came out of the men's room (the one place we didn't look) and said there were two people having sex in the stall. I was not in the lobby when it happened, but one of the girls went in to the bathroom pretending to be hotel security and fished her out. She had not responded to us calling for her, but when she heard "Hotel Security" she quickly found her skirt. She came out after she dressed and by that time I was there. She then announced to the entire group that she was a whore. It was classic! We clapped for EzE when he came out too.

Fortunately, she had not gone upstairs like we feared, but unfortunately she had run into the "pocket brother" on the way out of the bathroom 45 minutes before. Who kissed her and lead her into the men's room.

New Rule, DD does not go to the bathroom alone when she is that drunk. Or she does not get that drunk unless she is with her cousin.

The upside, because there is always an upside:

Gas to get there...$15.00
Drinks from the bar...$80.00
Condom...$.75
Watching DD walk out of the bathroom and being able to remind her about the next morning...Priceless.

Anonymous bathroom sex!!!! Who is the slut now!!!!!

Fun in the fishbowl

2006-04-07T15:08:00.000-07:00

We are all about fun here at the bowl. I believe that work is for work and home is for fun. If you are not having fun, really what is the point? I have found that even the most mundane task can be made much better if you have good friends to laugh with while you are doing it. Which I guess is how we get anything done around here.

That is of course unless Lacy Panties just takes over and does it. Poor thing, she has been jobless for the longest period of time since she was 16. Our house has never been so clean, it is insane. Even the yard looks nice. I am not complaining.

If you read the spinster page you know that DD is a dirty dirty girl. She has nothing to say about me talking on the internet now. Who's trolling for whores now!

So finally I have to say after a month of being single, I have decided that it really sucks. It doesn't help that half of the bar thinks DD and I are dating, and those who don't think I am a "piranha." Thanks DD, but NOT HELPING! Even if there is someone worth pickin' up, and the pickin's are usually slim, DD tells them I am some kind of a predator. It's like college all over again, when all my friends would warn the girls I was dating.

Now do I seem that horrible to you?

Okay, so maybe I do believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having friends with benefits. I don't think that makes me a predator, or a "piranha" as DD would say, but just aware of my own needs.

It was here.. But I chose to move it.. to protect the Innocent.

2006-04-06T23:56:00.000-07:00

The post you seek is on the old maid street.
For those in the go.. did I.. you better go..

Spring is in the air!

2006-03-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

Its spring time again!
Birds are chirping,
Flowers are blooming,
and spring cleaning has begun!

Shinola is shimmering up some old friends...
You never know when some new friends may drop in for some fun!

The Bowl's newest and most motivated roomie
Lacy Panties has officially moved in!
You may remember her from the Halloween photos.
She looked devilishly good in her red and black corset.

She is working our asses off.

Shannon while painting my new room blue!

The girls decided
That the Ellen Age of Celebecy had to end
So I left the room that I shared with the Cabanna Boy

Hey Shinola is that the same friend in picture one?
No wonder she looks happy!

And Last but not least

The Southern BOIL

I am so lucky to have the friends I do,
They are artists.
I love and respect the art of their life.
They can laugh at themselves, and at society while showing great dignity.
That is true art.

Changes in the bowl

2006-03-24T13:38:00.000-08:00

So, major changes in the bowl this month. Posting has been sparse but should be picking up. Ze Queen has left us, but will be visiting from time to time. It has been hard, but at the same time good. Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest to make. Thank you for all the calls to check up on me/us, it has been very sweet.

Now on to happier news. Lacy Panties has arrived and is settling in. Please help us in welcoming her into the bowl!

Also, I wanted to say hi to the wonderful people (or just Stewie) at the dip who just got to see the blog for the first time. We hope to venture up north sometimes soon.

Its Graduation from the school of Fish...

2006-03-11T10:59:00.000-08:00

An important and beloved member of the bowl is leaving.

Ze Queen has swam to new adventures

She will be missed

but she will never be forgotten..

Ze Queen and Shinola have parted ways..

Not for lack of love or respect.

Growth does not always follow the same path.

Her Touch will always be remembered with a smile.

Shinola is on to Life Dreams fulfilled,

New adventures arise like the sun in the morning.

A new member will be introduced into the Bowl.

Lacy Panties will jump into the current, where it takes us?

Who can Say...

What is that? Do we hear the swoop of a stork?

Is that the pitter patter of little feet?

The squish of a sperm filled turkey baster?

New sounds, new ratios, new adventures for the bowl..

you are all invited, welcome to our new home.

Thank You Wisconsin

2006-03-07T11:01:00.001-08:00

I went to Wisconsin the Land of Cheese.
I learned a few things while there.
1. Cranberries are the leading export.
2. Cheese curds are very tasty.
3. Fried Cheese curds are a biological weapon
4. Jager Bombs are ... wait I can't remember..
5. Wisconsin Nurses, Cops, and Lesbians are beautiful women
5a. Wisconsin Women and Jager Bombs... blurry but funny
5b. Wisconsin Men wear parkas in bars
6. I am a puss when it comes to the cold.
7. I will get my evil twin.
You have not won yet No Typin.. I may not have snow..
but I will get you back..some how.
Oh yes, I will get you back.
8. Men in Wisconsin will break hockey sticks accross their ass.
and then let me pinch it. NICE Guess where I can put your stick hottie..
Thank you to all Wisconsonites.. I enjoyed meeting you ohhhhh soooo much.
You gals are great fun and I had a blast. Thank you for being so kind to me.

Courtney and Teah are lucky to have such great friends.
E

Thank You Wisconsin

2006-03-07T11:01:00.000-08:00

I went to Wisconsin the Land of Cheese.
I learned a few things while there.
1. Cranberries are the leading export.
2. Cheese curds are very tasty.
3. Fried Cheese curds are a biological weapon but tasty
4. Jager Bombs are tasty
5. Wisconsin Nurses, Cops, and Lesbians are the beautiful women
5a. Wisconsin Women and Jager Bombs... blurry but funny
5b. Wisconsin Men wear parkas in a bar
6. I am a puss when it comes to the cold.
7. I will get my evil twin.
You have not won yet No Typin.. I may not have snow..
but I will get you back..some how.
Oh yes, I will get you back.
8. Men in Wisconsin will break hockey sticks accross their ass.
and then let me pinch it. NICE
Thank you to all Wisconsonites.. I enjoyed meeting you ohhhhh soooo much.
I think you guys were the most fun I have had in a long time. Thank you for being so kind to me and getting me soooo drunk.

Courtney and Teah are lucky to have such great friends.
E

So we made it a week, and now the sun has come out.

2006-02-24T07:08:00.000-08:00

So we have made it through the week without smoking. The Bowl is now a non-smoking environment. I have to tell ya'll, it has been the roughest thing I have ever done. To all the little 16/17/18 year olds out there: DO NOT SMOKE, it is expensive and is a bitch to quit. I think that I am over the worst of it now. This morning it felt like the black cloud lifted and I feel normal again.

Today, the sun came out and the temperature is supposed to be in the mid-60's. It is weird the weather seems to coincide with my improved mood. Hopefully the rest of the fishbowl is feeling the same.

My Day in Mailing Hell!!!!

2006-02-22T17:38:00.000-08:00

I had such a bad day that I just had to share it! I still can't beleive it...

One Mass Mailing to 570 active clients

Each Envelope Contained
7 Pages with a letter of explanation on top (We had to print and put these together)

5 Regular people (I say regular but one of these people has recently decided to quit smoking and now has no niccotine)to handle all of this and about 10 people comming through to help at random intervals, the longest lasting about 45 min.

The PROBLEM: We have 48 hours

Sure,..it sounds simple right? Wrong!

Murphys Law Strikes Again!!!:
1. Our postage machine is chewing envelopes that we slide through (we had to print 568 individual postage stickers)
2. One new person put packets together incorrectly (this was actually the least of our problems).
3. This all has to go out as certified mail. (for anyone unfamiliar with the certified mail process it's quite simple, just fill out the adress information on the bottom half of a green sheet with postage + Certified fee tallied and take the sticker stuff off and place the sticker on the top of the envelope and be sure to fold at the dotten line,..if you seperate the top half from the bottom go back to start and begin again).

Ok, upon reviewing the problem IT puts together some simple solutions:
Certified Letter slips and envelopes were pre-printed to contain adresses.

However...

Two people had to leave
Outside assistance was brought in (not really with the company but hey we do things for friends right?)

Envelopes aren't matching up with letters, someone screws up the packets, there aren't enough certified printouts, some of those printouts don't have adresses, and everything is out of order. We got everything straightened out, and then the worst thingt happened right when we thought we were done. The Post office will not take a certified letter if the postage date does not match the date mailed, so we had to back date the postage machine (stupid tapes!) and re-print about 160 tapes.....

It got done....
but I don't know if I'll stop twitching.....

Happy birthday DD

2006-02-22T07:37:00.000-08:00

DD is home!!! Back from the great white north in time to celebrate her birthday in style at the fishbowl. She confirmed for us that Wisconsin is really cold and has a lot of snow. Wow, I am so glad I live here. It was 60 degrees colder there than it was here.

I think we have decided have her 30th (really 32) birthday since we still have all the 30 decor from my bday (when I really turned 28 as my mom kept reminding everyone). It makes since that we both just split the difference.

Happy Birthday sweetie darling! You know you are my best friend sweetie.

6th Day No Smoking

2006-02-21T07:49:00.000-08:00

Today is the 6th day that I (and Ze Queen) have not smoked. I feel good today. The headache is gone. My Doctor put me on Wellbutrin to help with the withdrawl. The fishbowl has become completely smoke free!

I am excited because DD comes back today from the great white north. Why anyone would willingly go to Wisconsin in February is beyond me. I pick her up at 9pm (yuk) at the airport. She was smart enough to get the hell out of the house during our first few days of withdrawl. Tomorrow is her birthday. I don't know what to get her...maybe a clean house?

Withdrawal

2006-02-18T12:36:00.000-08:00

I miss my cigarettes!!!! It's now day three and even with the nicotine gum I am shaky, tired, restless, fidgety, and oh yes annoyed!

I screamed at one of our reps on Friday at work just because he called.

I cannot stand to hear a phone ringing, I have the cell in my pocket on silence.

I am now out of Advil for the headache that's been involved.

I am beginning to cough up crap.

Poor Shinola gets to hang out with me all weekend while DD is out west frolicking in -60 degree weather or something unholy like that...It's 41 and rainy here, but it isn't even freezing. Friday it was 70 and sunny.

So I guess to sum up I'm loosing it and have resorted to locking myself in for the day. I have invited one good friend. She was warned and is bringing a movie. Bless that good woman!

I'm going to run around the house now and turn up the music real loud so as to not hear the pounding in my brain,...

Shannon is 30!

2006-02-13T20:43:00.000-08:00

My god can the bowl blow it up!

Lacy Panties came for a visit, she brought a friend to the bowl

They took the southern bells and schooled them on how to party

MIDWESTERN style...I am still recovering.

Highlight of the weekend:

I heard a Niel Diamond song, sung by a great Elvis Impersonator, at a Nudist colony.

I love my life sometimes.

Shinola was almost accosted by a Creepy boy

Chick has taken Shinola to be the "real Dillard," Fat Fingers Rule

DD is "a kinky bitch," Thanks Chick, you say the nicest things..

Becca had no idea she made out with an unattractive Drag Queen.

Sometimes the best thing about New Years is telling the people what they did on New Years.

Straight girls and straight boys are drama.

There is so much to say about this weekend.

Lets give others a chance.

I am so lucky to have such great friends

who are far more eccestric than I.

Shinola is only 28, but now she knows what it feels like to be 30!

Christina (she who speaks in country mousic lyrics) had a great idea to celebrate it early.

Happy Birthday!

One foot with ketchup please.

2006-02-11T12:18:00.000-08:00

So, the other night we were all sitting down for a nice dinner. We sat there, enjoying Yankee fried chicken, which taste good actually but should never be called fried chicken, when I decided to make a total ass of myself. Felling the need to bitch about something, didn't really matter what, I chose a topic. I chose wrong.

I decided to bring up the fact that I had been the only one posting on the blog, all be it sparsely. First mistake. DD asked politely, did you check it today? I said yes in an indignant tone, that was my second mistake. Both Ze and DD roar with laughter, it was the day that DD had posted about her talented friend and deer piss. Not only did she post, but also added a link. I could not fight that. I was unprepared.

I'll have that foot with ketchup please.

My Friend is an artist, but likes to wear deer piss.

2006-02-08T21:44:00.000-08:00

I have a friend, who is talented and intelligent.

I had no idea how visionary he was with a camera.

He is an artist that should be watched for soon he will be known.

He also likes to hunt deer,

while sitting in a tree, with a bow,

wearing deer piss.

We can't all be perfect.

Bambi, (Chad's Wife) why haven't you fixed this hunting thing?

Check out his blog at

www.ChadRyan.blogspot.com/

He also may be the source of my S&M tendencies..

Its our birthdays and we will spank cause we want to.

2006-02-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

Its our Bithdays, Shinola on the 14th.

She will be facing down the road to the end of her 20's

Thinking back about time gone,

goals met and not met

wrinkels of the past and future

ha ha

Our Friend is coming to visit from IN. She is a bad influence

Its her birthday too, I want to give her a gift, but what? who butt?

Costa Rican Man... he is spicy and tastes like dirty skin

I will be in thought and reflection for my anniversary of life.

I will meditate and think of who to fuck next.

I have a few on my list.

One has a scottish accent. Melts my panties right off.

Or will I meet someone else?

Stewie has a bad tooth. it is green. I am very concerned for him and about his dentistry needs.

Darby and Farley also need vet appointments

They are getting old too. Just like Shinola.

Betsy is getting Married,

We could not decide a name of a great shower.

Cottle Call was the decided vote.

The Baby Dill may be going out with us

It will be the best time

The fishbowl quits smoking

2006-02-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

So, after much thought the members of the fishbowl are going to quit smoking. DD, who has a nasty bit of pneumonia has already stopped. Ze Queen and I are steeling ourselves up for the task. I personally have smoked pretty consistently for about 12 years now. It sucks. I am tired of not breathing, I am tired of coughing. Any way it is not like you can smoke anywhere now so what is the point. Our quit date is February 16th...Wish us luck

We're back and ready to play

2006-02-03T14:58:00.000-08:00

Last night, by some miracle of modern technology, our virus software updated and eliminated the nasty bug that has plagued our computer for almost a month now. I have had to deal with viruses before on the work computer, and I can do some basic stuff...But this virus was a nightmare. I couldn't fix it, Ze Queen who is a computer whiz could not fix it. It made the whole computer ran slow. It was worse than 90's dial-up because, it was all the time. Everything was slow. And poor DD had to try and do a good bit of her work on it. It SUCKED!

On a happier note, I am writing to tell you that we have been planning all our post idea's and we will be updating you on the goings on of the bowl. We still haven't even gotten to write about new years and it is already February. Which, BTW is the month when both my and DD's birthdays are, so there will be even more debauchery to be had.

I would write more, but we all need to check our emails now.

Technical difficulties

2006-01-13T05:15:00.000-08:00

Sorry everyone, our computer has a nasty virus, much like DD who sounds like death. We will not be posting for awhile until we get it back up and running.

Long time gone

2006-01-06T08:23:00.000-08:00

Okay so it has been awhile since the fishbowl posted so here are a few tidbits of post to come to keep you going until we get all setteled after the holidays.

1. Christmas was nice, but stressful.
2. New years was a BLAST!
3. We now are grooming our minons.

The last thing a Designated Driver wants to hear.

2005-12-08T16:20:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday night the fishbowl attended the first holiday party of the season. It was a Martini's and Orniments party. We all got dressed and went to our friend Serena's new apartment, and it was delightful. Delightful that is until the one word a designated driver never wants to hear was uttered...Yeager!

Now I have no problem with drinking, heavens no. I knew last night with out asking that I would be designated driver, so after my chocolate martini I switched to diet Dr Pepper. I don't usually mind being the driver and I will even make those in my charge drinks. I will fill them with vodka, rum, bourbon, and even tequila from time to time. But there is one liquor that I avoid, and I make a real effort to steer them away from and that is Yeager.

I knew when I heard the word, that I was in for it.
"Yeah, I'll do a shot of Yeager," DD said.
I shot her a look that said, "Why would you do this to me."
"It's just one," she said

Flash forward 2hrs.
"It's time to go. Here is your purse and your coat," I say handing her her things.
"I don't want to leave yet. I am having fun," she says back like a definite child.
"Come on, it's getting late," I say trying to coaxes away from the party and the scared young man she was talking to.
"I AM NOT READY TO LEAVE! YOU GO! I'LL WALK HOME!" she yells back.

At this point Ze Queen makes me go to the car and wait. She makes (or at least she thinks she does) DD call her cousin who lives near by. For once DD doesn't live up to her name. Sure she pretends to call her cousin.

The Debautchery was...Acquiesced

2005-11-30T21:54:00.000-08:00

Shinola and DD have a disagreement.
She std that a 4-some can be a 4-some if no penetration.
DD fought for the definition of 4some to include penetration.

One evening while talking online with some man, who is the boogy internet man they warned you about, I was asking him the same question. what is your definition of a 3some. Then he gave me an answer that had nothing to do with anything, but it made me think. If three women were together and fingering, oral and kissing, then thats a 3some. Penetration does not define sex alone.

Then I got pissed. Earlier I was looking through my computer for music, because I am at my limit for Yahoo music, when I can't find any non-lesbian shit. So to the boogy net man I was bitching about lesbians, music, and melissa etheridge. He thought I was descriminatory when really I was just shitty.

LESBIAN MUSIC EVERY WHERE
I HAVE A HARD TIME ASSOCIATING WITH HETEROSEXUALS

So in that moment I saw my hypocracisy. I may have arguments with no basis in reality. But I aint no hippocrit. I am not just a friend of the family, I am kin by some marriage to someone's cousin.

Shinola, I acquiesse to your position to leave penetration out of the definition of quad-fornication.

slut

Back in action

2005-11-29T17:14:00.000-08:00

Well now that we have finished Jeanniepolooza and Thanksgiving we can all get back to the important things in life, like blogging. I feel bad, cause it has been a while and I wanted to apologize. I have been busy.

So let's see what has happened:
1. Jeannie turned 26! The fishbowl devoted a week and a half to festivities. We saw the new Harry Potter in the I-max, and then went to Dave and Busters (huge bar/restaurant with tons of video games and a really good bar, or at least good drinks.)
2. We hosted my family for Thanksgiving for the second time. There were no NEGATIVE comments by my mom, which was a miracle unto itself. It went so well. We had my parents, brother and his girlfriend, her parents, and of course the fishbowl was all in attendance so it was about 9 total. I cooked from 1pm Wed till we served at about 7:30 pm Thursday night.
3. I slept almost all day on Friday following Thanksgiving.
4. I have blown 2 hardrives at work in the past week and a half.
5. My wrist has been upgraded from Tendonitis to Carpeltunnel. Part of the reason for my decreased blogging :(

That is about it here in the bowl. We should all be posting more though now.

Fish Foolery

2005-11-15T22:24:00.000-08:00

It is Ze Queen's Birthday week
where is her gift?
She is looking around the house.
She plans her attack, then an effort to find the prize.

Only one chance per diem

Keep searching...
We haved turned the bowl into a game, a hunt.
Will Ze find her gift before the blessed day of Harry Potter IMAX?

Things that will be true of this weekend.

Ze will have a great time
Ze, and we will partake in the palooza!
Saucy Siren will be sold for a tidy profit at the bar.
If Ze remembers alot of this weekend, we failed.
Stories are better when you hear about what you did, the next day.

Remember all:

Ze turns 25!! Our baby is all grown up...

into shirtless matrix girl!

The Sexy Satanic Man

2005-11-13T12:59:00.000-08:00

So I went to a store with Shinola for gizmos and gadgets galore
Inside was a sexy satanic man
He had tattoos and a Lip piercing
He was clean but greezy, he could raise left his eyebrow.. Only
a trick he used to seduce.
He was entertaining me.. A older woman with pink eyeshadow and a secret.
I knew he would be an aperitiff
No, not a meal but he will cleanse my palette.
with a force of agnst and anger, complimented with charm.
That sweet and salty taste of innocence.

For his youth, passion and inexperience the moment will pass too soon.
It is not one for my own release
The moment for vindication, to take what one has desired
then to know the truth he can not dive into my depth.
That would ruin his beauty, his innocence, his objectification of sex
what I could do to enlighten the sexy satanic man.

Quality Drunk Dialer Moments

2005-11-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

DD: "I live with lesbians, see this is one (points at me), oh wait - feel her package (puts the queen's, The DRAG QUEEN's, hand on my croch) nice huh so but what I wanted to say was, I want to be a lesbian, I really really do, but I just can't give up the Penis."
Drag Queen at bar: "I know exactly what you mean honey"

Backstory:

Really this is not a misquote, it was one long slurred sentence. If you have seen DD once she has reached drunk point, you know the one.

Okay, on Halloween after everyone was gone around 11:30 (I like these grown up parties, you start earlier then people leave earlier and don't make a mess) we went to Le Buzz. It was just Me, DD, and Christinia (not pictured, because she took the pictures), because Ze Queen was still not feeling well. So we are at the bar, and DD decides it is time to "mingle." She drags me into one of the bar area's, which was a little cramped, and starts talking to random people. She talked to the Drag Queen with a southern accent and cascading blond hair when she said it.

Sorry it took so long

2005-11-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

So this is me and Ze Queen. Don't I look good in a suit? I look like my little brother more than anything else. I was origanally going to be a Masher, but did not want to have to explain it to everyone so I just said I was in drag.

Bonus points for anyone who knows what a Masher is...Fritz you can't play...you read the book too.

This is a view from the garage, we don't smoke in the house so most of the party was out there

You can't see them but our friends Deb and Season had awesome pirate costumes.

This is DD with some of our friend Sammy (tall one in the middle). Pirate was a very popular cosutme this year

This is me and DD in the kitchen, she was checking out my package

Dancing in the gargage.

Stew Weasel is Back!

2005-11-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

Stew Weasel is back. My sweet stinky ferrett has come home. Well actually the neighbor found him and came and got me. She was so cute, she kept saying that we had to be quiet and sneak up on him. I kept telling the ferrett finder that he was deaf and no sneaking would be necessary. He had run under her neighbors porch. He was tired, dirty and such a sight for sore eyes.

The boy and his father who found him were quite excited to see a ferret king. They held him and pet him. I was just so grateful that he had been found and was not eagle or half eagle half chicken food.

The Ferrett King has returned to his people

2005-11-08T12:03:00.000-08:00

It is sad to say, in fact I am crying as I write this. Stew Weasel is gone.
It is my fault. I let him into the house to get some exercise and my window was open two inches. He must have snuck out when I was working. I always thought I would "find your dead ferrett..." in the dishwasher, the fireplace or the doorjam. I never thought I would never find my ferrett.
While I was outside searching the woods for my beloved ferret king, the fucking asshole old dickhead neighbor had the gull to say I was "on private property." I told him I was looking for my ferrett. He replied "I don't care." I told him to call the cops and when I find my ferrett I will get off his property. Old men like him are the reason why old people get treated like shit. I dream of the day I see him have a heart attack in the back yard. Only to say.. nothing an watch the old fucker die. May his maker have as much compassion on him as he did those he ran into in this life.
Stew Weasel, I love him. I dream he returned to his people through the tunnels of the earth. Only to be reunited with a family and love he has missed. The others will revear him and praise his return. I just hope he isn't eagle food. fuck I loved that little guy.

Lets Revisit a story

2005-11-02T21:51:00.000-08:00

I Know while you are all excited about the Halloween Party, where DD was the drunk one who wouldn't remember. Lets revisit a Shinola golden moment.

When she was at the Dip, naked, drunk and shirtless in front of her father for the first time in years. Screaming for the world to hear, that she like boobs more than her brother. We enjoyed that event. But why should we stop there? There are other stories.

Oh yes, and they are all as good. Don't believe me? After carrying Shinola to the bathroom, guiding her to the stall, shoving her back towards the toilet. She tried to give someone a low-hi-5 in the next stall while they were using the bathroom. Not the time Shinola, her hand may be busy.

Or when she was on the dance floor with her hand above her head waving high in celebration and declareation of being a red-neck woman. Her eyes drooped or was she deep into the meaning of song, the class stucture, mouth half open due to inability to close it? Or was she trying to mouth the words to a song that sounded familiar when she started dancing. Topless. Under a green dancing disco light.

The Debautchery was...

2005-11-01T17:20:00.000-08:00

The Fishbowl hosted its first Halloween Party in 2 years.

How was the Demonic event?
Who can say? Not DD.

In usual style, I had a few too many pre-party shots. Did you know that if one does not eat before many, many shots of vodka, the effects of alcohol is expedited?
So what do I remember... ummm...

I was really nervous when my boss came and the house smelled of pot. I just pretended it didn't and gave her the tour anyway.
Sam has really big boobs, and when she is wearing heals I am perfectly level with her chest.
My friend Christina came down from IN. I learned so much about her. For example she is quite manipulative and I am her puppet. You have to respect that she can make me do as she wishes.
At Le Buzz, a man from Costa Rica kept trying to give her the Heimlick maneuver or dance? She looked like she was in pain. I pointed and I laughed.
Straight Costa Rica Man at a gay bar will try to touch you and then ask you how much you weigh. I told him to never touch the lesbian and then fuck off. So what if I didn't specify which lesbian. How would he know the point system, I don't think they have ice skating in Costa Rica.
When you dance with a guy and are too drunk to look up to see his head, you pinch his nipples.
Shinola looks a lot like her brother.
Ze queen has really, really cool bottle holders.
ummm...Dude his bike, was dude, his bike was dude, his bike.
Jason is the best Bartender in the world and I love his drinks.

So what to say about the Halloween party. I don't know. I had a great time, I think. I am sure I loved seeing my friends, drinking, and dancing.

I do remember when I stopped shaking the next morning I was ready for a mimosa. No shot for me thanks.. I can handle my own hangover without intravenous drugs. Shots are for pussies.

Halloween at the fishbowl.

2005-10-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the Halloween party at the fishbowl. We are all very excited since this is the best holiday of the year. Think about it...No family stress, you get to dress up and you get to drink. Really what could be better?

It is a fishbowl tradition to have a Halloween party. Every time we get all dressed up, decorate the house, and think no one is coming. We get trashed while waiting, because we think, no one is coming what are we going to do with all this booze? So we developed a system to deal with the possiblilty (not reality mind you) that no is coming. First there is the "pre-decoration" shot. Then there is the "mid-decoration" shot. After that we make the punch, which means we have to sample it (all of us have to sample it) at ever stage of production. Next there is the "yeah everything is ready" shot. Then we just sit and drink until people get here. The problem is that we don't always know who came. On the upside, we hear everyone has a good time at our parties.

This year we made people RSVP, so we could leave them some punch. It should be fun. DD is a little disappointed because most of the guys have backed out, so again this year it will be a fish-fry (kinda like a sausage party which is with all guys, a fish-fry is characterized by all girls) which is par for the course at the fishbowl. I don't know if men can survive in the fishbowl for long.

We are taking pictures to post so stay tuned.

Repetitive Motion injury

2005-10-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

I have been told by my Doctor that I have tendenitis in my left elbow and my wrist. Apparently it is a repetitive motion injury, basically tennis elbow and the beginning of carpeltunnel.

So, I have been trying to identify what I have been doing (since I don't play tennis) to cause this, knowing that the doctor will ask first thing. I know that typing is a big part of it (typing one handed now), because I have had the wrist problem for years now. I use a wrist guard that when I type at work, but that did not cause the elbow. So, I thought maybe it is the fact that I am answering the phones more. I always reach with my left hand and that would defiantly be the motion that hurts the most.

Then I thought about it. It flares up most after sex. This is a problem. After surviving Lesbian Bed Death or LEB, I am now really enjoying having a full sex life.

Ze Queen insists this is not the cause, perhaps a factor, but not the cause (which is probably true that it is not one thing causeing but multiple things that require the same motion) and forbade me from telling the doctor that I thought that might have something to do with sex. You see, she also sees the same doctor, along with both of my parents and my little brother. Not that I think the doctor would say anything to them, if fact she can't with HIPPA, but Ze just didn't want her to know all that.

So in the end, I told her about the phones, and that I type at home now more (damn blog). She looked a little uncertain, but accepted it. She suggested getting a headset for work, icing and splinting when I sleep. Also I am not to use that arm unless I need to.

Here is my question, would sex qualify as a "need to?"

Fishbowl Fighting

2005-10-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

A Warner Bros cartoon fight just broke out about about the thermostat,...That was the best fight ever!! Duck Season!! Wabbit Season!! Duck Season!! Wabbit Season!! Too funny, however Yosimite Sam had to break it up...Hilarious! Funniest fight Ever!!! Had to seperate them for a few minuites though to distract them or it would've gone on all night.

Amusing Work Moments....

2005-10-24T16:58:00.000-07:00

The New Company President

My first conversation with the new president of our newly formed company happened unexpectedly during an average day but a busy phone phone day.

A very important customer called and I informed my supervisor (as I am apt to do with delicate situations CYA!!), put the call on hold, grabbed my glass of sweet tea and followed her as she went to the front to get her boss. Once there wouldn't you know it, the president was in.

Fortuitouse! I had wanted to introduce myself! He decided to take the call AT MY DESK!!! I freaked out a little, but he seemed determined, and he followed me to the very back of the building (where they keep us miscreants) which is where my desk is.

I took a sip of tea on the way there and was so tense that I began choking on it! I tried to explain through gasps that this is not me normally (watching for lightning of course, because it is typical me). Between coughing fits I stole glances at him...He looked as if this was perfectly normal behavior. Good!! We'll get along just fine...

A Lunchtime Puzzle

Ok, I had no money at all for the coke machine. I had a tea bag.

We were out of normal sized coffee cups and only had tiny water cups about the size of shot glasses. My own coffee mug is lined on the inside with metal.

I was thirsty, there isn't a water cooler and the tap is crusty. I am sooo not just going to drink the water unless I boil it first!

So,..I put water in two of the shot glasses, zapped it to boiling, put the tea bag in the metal cup then dumped the now boiling water into it. Voala! Some sweetner and ice out of the freezer and I had sweet tea.

I recently came to the realization that there were regular coffee mugs under the microwave...Oh well, if I hadn't been sooo dehydrated I might've noticed.

Because you asked...

2005-10-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

So here are a few of the pictures from my baby dyke phase. These are all from college and are from '98/'99.

This is me, outside the Statesboro Mellow Mushroom holding a puppy called "the paperwork" we had just snuck into the restaurant for dinner. He was so small we didn't want to leave him outside.

Check the tye-dye and the leather vest. Plus the old Earth Jam '94 hat with the frieghed edges.

This is me outside the Rotunda at GSU, I was what they called a Rotunda Rat, meaning part of an assortment of freaks and hippies that sat out there smoking cigarettes and skipping class.

This is me out somewhere. It is a really bad picture. I stole it from my friend's scrap book.

I personally like the sweater vest. I had several in a variety of colors and textures. They worked with white tee shirts, oxfords, long sleeved tee shirts, or just by themselves.

I am still lookin' for some pics in flannel and polo's. I was actually bigger then. My freshman 15, turned into the sophomore 30, then finally became the junimore (still technically a sophomore, but it was my third year) 50. This was also when I was trying to grow out my hair. I always wanted cute short hair, but it never worked for me. Remember...It's never a mullet - when it's you.

So you see, I am much better off with guidance.

I wish I was a baby dyke again

2005-10-23T08:42:00.000-07:00

So DD cut my hair the other night...It is short! She took the time to show me how to style it, which when done looks like Sharon Stone. The problem is I can never get it to do that. No matter the product, or procedure. I am so inept at those girlie kind of things that it is sad. I spent to much time protesting and rebelling that I never learned what to do as far as makeup and hair. I had to be shown how to use moisturizer a few weeks ago ya'll...Isn't that sad? I am driving DD crazy. I now, for the first time in my life, recognize the need for things like moisturizer and hair products, but I am so bad with them, and so self conscious that I make DD show me time and again and ask her every five minutes, "is this right" or "how does it look now".

I miss the days when I could pull off a hat and flannel in the way only the cute little baby dykes can. I miss not caring about how I look and being cute at the same time. I miss not needing make-up. I miss the 5 years that I did not use hair products at all save for shampoo. I looked so much younger than I was I was able to pull it off longer than I should. But, those days are long gone.

Now, I use not one but two different types of hair product every morning. I use moisturizer before I put on my make-up, yes that is right make-up. Not much mind you, just something to hide the dark circles, and some mascara, oh and some eye liner because it makes my eyes stand out, and some eye shadow sometimes - a light color, yellow or pink, and now Ellen has added lipstick, pink with a tinge of coral.

What has happened to me.

All my old collared polo shirts are gone thanks to DD. I have only one flannel, well and two plaids that are just cotton, but Ze Queen has taken those (that I don't mind so much, it is hot to see you wife laying their in your shirt). DD has me shopping in the exclusively in the girls section again. I will admit, it looks good. In fact it looks better. I never was much of a boi, but I do miss trying to be one.

If I were to try now and not wear make up and wear my old baby dyke uniform (baggy jeans, Doc Martins, a wife beater, a sleeveless flannel and a ball cap) I would either scare people or just be called "sir" a lot. I know this because in a fit of nostalgia I tried one day. I don't look as cute and non-threatening anymore. People got out of my way quick.

DD has done a whole "straight eye for the seriously helpless queer girl" and says we are going for an academia look. I look now less like a line backer and more like a young professor at a small liberal arts college. It works, I will tell you what, it really works. I get checked out a lot more now, especially by the newest crop of baby dykes. It is actually a joke to see how many little girls I can make blush when we go out. Hopefully I can ride this out for another 7-10 years like I did the baby dyke look.

Maybe I miss the youth more than the style.

Nancy Kerrigan created the point system

2005-10-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

Ok. Why would Nancy Kerrigan know about how points change the world? In the year that she was in the Olympics, her biggest contenders were Tonya Harding, Midori Ito and Yxanna Byaul. That nasty little business with Tonya occurred so it was questionable as to whether Nancy would be able to skate.
She didn't skate in the Nationals but was awarded the spot anyway due to the circumstances. Nancy skated her heart out. She was amazing and worked incredibly hard to get into shape and secure her dream of Olympic Gold.
It was the last night of the long program. Nancy was in first and Yxanna was in a surprising second. Yxanna an orphan from one of those Russian countries had slept in the rink in order to skate with Victor Portrenko. Yxannz was 16 she was an artist but not a technical skater. Worse she wore an unfortunate pink flamingo outfit. She knew she had to pull out all the stops in order to beat Kerrigan and her grace and technical merit.
Kerrigan was amazing and skated the performance of her life. She was graceful, technical and jubilant in her program. She also wore the outfit that she was assaulted in, just a sublte jab at Tonya and a bold individual statement.
Yxanna was very good, her grace was displayed in her program. She did throw in several jumps that were not in the program to meet Kerrigan's technical merit. It robbed her from the artistry and did not finish the program to the music. She just abruptly stopped.
Can you believe the two tied. They tied for points. The only reason Yxanna won the gold is due to her higher artistic marks where kerrigan had a higher technical merit. That as well as the fact the Ice Skating world wanted to put forth a warning. Don't be a part of a conspiracy or else neither of the parties will win.
Moral: Kerrigan deserved the gold, she was flawless in her performance. Due to a point system that did not seem fair Kerrigan received the silver. I would have been pissed too.
thus explains my point system

Nancy Kerrigan Knows

2005-10-21T07:04:00.000-07:00

SO every once in a while I make some outlandish claims.

Like I had more nursing points than a pediatric burn nurse.
Or that I had more Jewish points because I went to temple once than my Jewish friend.

But I will always have more LESBIAN points. That game may never end.

The other games ended when I almost had to give an IV shot and realized I didn't know what the hell I was doing. That when your friend scrubs burnt skin off of babies and gives them major drugs, and saves lives everyday. Just cause you have a mom who is a nurse and a friend who is a nurse, points don't mean dick.

Now the Jewish game was decided by GOD. I went to temple with a client, before the service started I called my Jewish friend to gloat I had more jewish points. I went inside and in the middle of the service I started my period. I was so not kosher.

As for the Lesbian points I believe I will argue until I die.

I know all about lesbian cinema
I know all about toys and give advise to other lesbians
I have married 2 couples, so every time they have sex I get a % point from that incident to count towards my overall experience of not eating out.
I sent Lesbian porn, by lesbians with really unattractive lesbians to friends as a coming out gift.
I kissed a girl.
Had Dimples put my hand on her cha cha and bought me drinks.. I would have had to take my hand that was placed on his penis! To hold the drink and kept the other hand wherever she placed it.

SO I may make some outlandish claims, but I call it quirky. You may think I am crazy in my point system, but Nancy Kerrigan knows the truth.

Nancy Kerrigan knows

I hate Fox News

2005-10-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

They make me watch Fox News at work. It makes my blood pressure go up and my ears red. I HATE Fox News! Facist, that is what they are Facist. Mouth peices for the administration! Fuck them!

DD will never be a lesbian!

2005-10-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I was the one that got so drunk that I did require IV medication in order to stop throwing-up...This weekend, I paid back DD and Ze for having to baby sit me. Last night we went to Le Buzz, Cobb County's gay bar. I had not been in about 5 years, and it has grown tremedously. I enjoyed myself, but DD and Ze REALLY enjoyed themselves. I had to baby sit not one, but two drunks. To there credit they were well behaved, but still not an easy task. Herding drunks is like herding cats.

First off it is important to note that upon entering and going to the bar, Ze found out she went to school (like elementary on) with the bartender. They even dated for a minute in middle school. This meant our drinks were really good all night!

I knew I was in trouble, when we were dancing and some little short shit of a guy comes up and starts rubbing on Ze Queen, who usually will throttle any man who touches her that she doesn't know, but last night she just giggled and kept dancing. Now friends, Ze and I were just dancing, it is not often that we do dance together in public and he just came up behind her and started grinding. According to DD, he had wood, which is so gross! He started dancing with DD, after I gave him a "back off you little shit" look, that is how she found that he was hard and thought it would funny to steer him back to Ze who just continued to giggle as they danced me almost into the stage. Now why would you go to a gay bar and try to start something with two girls who are dancing, especially when I was a good 6" to 8" taller than you and could clearly break you in half. But Ze, just giggled. I almost had to kick his ass ya'll. Don't start dancing up on my wife, who is dancing with me, and grind your nastiness on her. To all men out there...If two girls are dancing and one looks like she could seriously take you in a fight...LEAVE THEM ALONE - THEY DON'T WANT YOU, AND YOU ARE IN DANGER IF YOU CONTINUE!

Next we go back to the bar area (after escaping the "woody the little shit" which is what I named him) and I find DD making out with some guy, who was buying her drinks. But he had a comb-over, which is just wrong. As a friend I had to pull her aside and tell her "JUST SAY NO" to comb-overs. I am sure he is a nice guy, but you don't let your first one-nighter in a long time (maybe ever...We will have to check that) be a comb-over. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the balding men, but just don't do the comb-over. Anyway she also found this delightful girl with the cutest dimple in the world to dance with and possible more...If she was lucky and she left her to suck face with the comb-over. Further proof she will never be a lesbian. BonnieSituation, this is why you will always have more points. Leaving the cutest girl in the bar (excluding me of course) to suck face with a comb-over automatically strips any and all previously earned lesbian points (which frankly she didn't have that many to begin with).

We left about 2:30 (closes at 3am), the drag queen at the bar exclaimed as we walked out "That polish girl (DD) can really drink and she is funny as hell." I took them both to the Waffle House to get some food in them so they could sober up. There DD delighted all the waitress outside with her penis lighter and some how got them to give her a coffee cup after I told her she could not steel it. By the time we got home it was about 4am. I went to bed, but as some of you know Drunk Dialer made some calls. I would love to hear about them if you could post them I would appreciate it.

Happy National Coming OUT Day!!

2005-10-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

Happy National Coming OUT day to all my Queer Friends. This year I am celebrating my 9th year out and proud. To those who don't know, National Coming OUT day is celebrated on October 11th every year and marks the anniversary of the 1987 March on Washington. I came OUT 9 years ago today, when I was a freshman at Georgia Southern Universty. In 1996, you just didn't come out in high school (though I had a pretty good Idea then)...at least not in Cobb County GA. It amazes me how much has changed, as an out dyke I have a lot to be proud of.

So here it is:
I am proud of my life and of my family. I am proud that I have been married to a wonderful woman for 2 years (we have been together for 7 total). I am proud that at my wedding my father walked me down the ile and gave me away to my wife. I am also proud to say that I am now OUT at work finally(although most people I worked with already knew). I am Proud to see that attitudes towards LGBT people in general have improved so much in the last 9 years. I am proud to see so many LGBT youth that are able to come out and not have to be scared.

If you are going to make this a lifestyle...

2005-10-10T14:47:00.000-07:00

Okay so yes I was plastered at the dip. I was sooooo drunk that I don't remember much after about 10pm. I don't know how much I drank or what I did, though DD and Ze Queen have been more than happy to fill in the blanks. Apparently, I was the life of the party.

The next day I was soo sick I had to get a shot of antinausa medicine because I could not stop getting sick. Then I was told by the nurse, "If you are planning on making this a lifestyle, you should ask your doctor about a script for some phenagren supositories." Wow, I have not been so drunk and hung over since college. This is definately not the lifestyle for me. I am not a good drunk...I require supervision as much as (if not more than) DD.

The Naked Truth at the Dip

2005-10-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

What can be said about a weekend at the Dip?

By Shinola.. Not much

Nudy camp will now be called The Dip.

Truths Revealed:

Mystery Dinner Theatre is a blast.

Under the Chief's Holicowa's furry flap is more fur!

DD may love Law & Order but it does not make her a detective!

Shinola needs supervision --major supervision,

Sisi will give Shinola drinks and hold anyone else responsible for getting her daughter drunk!

Ze Queen is no school Marm and she will use that ruler!

DD has a mischievous spirit and Chick is usually the target.

Shinola has the groper gene and the naked gene.

That's right folks. S was shirtless! She took her top off at the Dip.

DD made sure to bring S to the table and yell "Chick check out your daughter!"

Y'all he was so proud and then was so... scared.

Everyone was hugging her for congratulation on being naked and Chick was excited until he realized..

"Shit that's Shinola!"

Then things got interesting and Shinola gave the "Full Monty" on family genetics. Shinola stated she was more like Chick, then Baby Dill, her younger brother for the following reasons:

Shinola can fix things better and faster
Shinola has more 'uses' for a tool belt
Shinola likes boobies more than Baby Dill or anyone other than Dad.
Shinola has fat fingers just like her Dad (which is a good thing is our house)

Shinola also realized some similarities when it comes to her Mom

Shinola and Sisi will not remember what was said the next day

Ahh.. but DD and Ze Queen will remember and post for days to come.

Grace was never my middle name...

2005-10-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

I've fallen, tripped, swung and hung my way pretty much all the way up the east coast. I have four primary witnesses to all these incidents. My cousins, and my auntie. They are my best friends and among my greatest supporters. They always cheer me on, they really want to see me regain my balance, they cheer through all my windmills, and staggering, and they always seem to be around when these things are happening. Truly I do better drunk than I ever have sober. Here are a few stories of my greatest blunders in the realm of physics. Somewhere through all of this God and Einstein are getting a big kick outta me. Most memorable among these blunders are Traveling, Boston, At Home, The Possum, Something in the Attic, Gym Shorts Wanted, Please Don't Tell or Mom will Kill Me, Asphyxiation for Lunch, Matrix Madness and Mud & Blood. Occasionally I will write one, for today DD has requested traveling...enjoy!

Traveling
First thing that should probably be known is that I am 5'2. I am not tall at all. I am short. Usually this works well for me. I can slip in and out in a big crowd, swift and nearly unseen. However it can be a huge hindrance as well. I should probably alsomention that I am a thrill seeker. I love a good ride. So I love things like escalator, elevators and my best cheap thrill -the tram at the airport. From the time I hear the warning to please move to the center of vehicle and away from the doors I am thrilled! One day it went very awry.

My aunt and my sister were going on a trip to Disney World. I was about 16 and my sis was 11. We were at the Hartsfield Jackson Airport, which is huge. Sarah and I debated for a moment with our aunt because we were debating taking the moving sidewalk (those are fun to. I have a bionic woman feeling whenever I hop on one), but the fastest way was the tram. One huge ride down a steep, mildly lit escalator and we were there, I was so happy. Unfortunately the airport was crowded. We were packed in like luggage between people wearing suits, and briefcases. Disappointed, I stood there holding on to the pole nearest the door (we were just barely able to squeeze in). Once we came to a stop I had to move back quickly so I didn't get shoved out the door. I moved as far back as I could (which wasn't very far, I was swimming upstream, a taller person wouldn't have been able to get even that far), and grabbed onto one of the leather straps hanging above and waited for the crowd to pass while trying to look for my aunt and sister who had to be very nearby. As soon as I stood on my tip toes and grabbed that leather strap I knew that it was a bad idea and I could not spend the ride like this, but no sooner had I come to this realization than the train took off! Gravity is funny..I find that often The Law of Gravity and Murphy's Law go hand in hand. the train propelled forward and I was pushed back knocking me off of my tip toes. My right arm was gripping the leather strap and the other was trying to regain some sort of balance and hopefully a little dignity. However all I seemed to manage to do wad send myself swinging in an elliptical motion trying to get my little tip toes enough on the ground. At some point during the swing I was twisted around to face the rear of the car and saw my aunt red faced from laughing. Sis was oblivious! She was looking out the window and watching everything fly by, I was pissed! I swallowed my already wounded pride and braced myself for the long haul. We were traveling to the furthest concourse from the actual airport and this trip, while short, happened to be the longest ride you can take on the tram. I had always hoped for this, usually we were a closer gate, so I was missing my first big trip on the tram swinging uncontrollably. My arm was starting to give out, it was shaking and I was trying to get my other arm up to help out but I couldn't get it up there, so now I'm swinging elliptically and my arm is swinging in the same motion . My aunt was rolling...Sister was oblivious. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the tram finally came to an abrupt stop. Gravity has shifted suddenly and is now pushing down, and no longer at an angle. My arm gave out and I fell. I quickly regained my footing and my aunt helped me exit the tram -I was still a little stunned.

A note on my aunt.

Sister and I loved going places with her!! Since we were small we were taken to scitrek, the High Museum (we didn't do that too often scitrek was way cooler), and Fernbank. When we weren't doing something educational we were catching a movie, or going somewhere small and trendy in the city, even a trip to the coffee shop was cool -all the different jars of beans all different flavors and so fragrant, sometimes we'd drop in on a florist in that area who happened to be a friend of hers. When we spent the night she always brought out a special picture book with story, it was my sister and my favorite story Koko's Kitten. If it hadn't been for my aunt my world would be so much smaller that I's impossible to fathom. She introduced us to so many ideas. She is a wonderful person whom I love very much.

Recent Disturbing State of the Airport
The Atlanta airport is huge and international. I love watching people in transit. The hustle and bustle never fails to cheer me up. So anytime I can get there I do. If it weren't sucha treacherous drive I would be there more often just to hang out and shop at all the little specialty stores, since 9-11 this is no longer possible. If you don't have a ticket or purpose it's move along please. This intimidates me and un-nerves me, my favorite place has become a nightmare. On the news I saw a women who was being beat up by a few rogue officers abusing power for parking where she probably shouldn't to get her elderly mother into the car, the mother is using a walker and doing alright but obvoiusly couldn't make the walk to the parking deck (I think that since this happend there are actually more wheelchairs in the airport), the whole time the woman is being beaten she's trying to tell her mother that she's fine, SHES NOT FINE! HE WAS 250lbs AT LEAST, SOLID MUSCLE AND HITTING HER WITH A BILLY CLUB!!!! THE TAPE OF THE ENTIRE INCIDENT WAS SHOWN ON THE NEWS. IS THIS FOR REAL!!! I AM SO OUTRAGED AND ANGRY...THIS WAS ON THE NEWS PEOPLE!!!

Before all this however, it was wonderous and wonderful place..

going to nudy camp

2005-10-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

We are going to the nudy camp
seeing many boobie, peni
no.. you can not tea bag
family oriented park
time out for dd.
we are going to the nudy camp
mystery dinner theatre
who killed who naked?

CHODE
BALLS
NIPPLES
FLIGHT OF THE DYING BUTTERFLY
stobe lights on the dance floor..
the dillard
Getting it out of my system now..

SISI's is 49
the length of boobs. 35
seeing shinola's parents naked.. millions in therapy

Aretha has been notified to turn off her phone

The shinola conducted urine

2005-10-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

Shinola sits on the potty

she raises her hands

as if her ass is an orchestra

to begin the symphony

that is urine.

ahhh

OH god, I will never be happy again but I love you all

2005-10-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

so begins DD's PMS

I have cramps that would kill the average man

I am hateful, then cry because I am so mean to my friends, whom I love

Zits bigger then my breasts are on my chin.

Earlier in the day returned a call from

some attorney office calling the wrong number

I spoke to scott for 1/2 and hour,

realized it was the best conversation

I have had with a man in a long time.

Almost asked him to be the father of my children

then I wouldn't have a period for 16 months..

have to include time to breast feed.

Then I remembered, children are; expensive, small and ask questions.

most people don't like me around their children

something about being inappropriate.

FUCKERS.. LIFE IS CRUEL THEY NEED TO KNOW IT

I am sorry, so sorry I love the little ones.. anyway

I actually called McDonalds to complain about their grilled chicken

called their 800 number

told them it "tasted like ass"

what am I expecting?.. it was McDonalds.

I won a free fries on the game though.

then I slept, had a dream

that I think included penguins and Robin Williams

we were supposed to have a 3some..

I don't know if the penguins were with Robin williams or

they were just in the area

I hope they weren't part of the 3some.

I get so horny before my period.

and I am going to the camp where I am afraid.

Add 1 horny,

shake up many, many, many, shots

30+ naked peni'

sounds like a recipe for...

who knows.. like I will remember

good times.

The Weekend Plans

2005-10-05T16:17:00.000-07:00

We are all preparing to go to the nudist park this weekend for the mystery Dinner and my Mom's birthday. DD is so excited that she is calling and warning all those in her call list that are likely to be hit. Namely Aretha - If you read this just turn off your phone on Saturday. Bucket, you know you will be called. Drunk Dialer will be staying in the tent with us...She hates to camp but figures she will to drunk to care. We are all very excited! More updates to come!

What the Hell?

2005-10-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

The news just pisses me off now. I used to love to sit down at night and see what was going on with the world. Now I feel the urge to throw things at the TV, is that normal? I am sick of seeing that Idiot "W" on TV, telling me things will get better...Cause they aren't. Gas is over $3/gallon here and half the stations don't have any gas to begin with. Also he is nominating a woman to the Supreme Court who has never been a judge, has no public record and is refusing to release any documents that may help. That is just the beginning. There is rumor of GA banning Gay Adoption. The legislation has not been introduced, but "the time is right" according to most experts. I need to move, I know, I hear it all the time, but how can anything change in good ole Georgia if all the gays and lesbians and people with heart and compassion leave the state to uber-Christian conservative republicans? Then my favorite story of today is that in Indiana, where BTW DD is from, there is a bill in the house that would ban anyone who is not in a heterosexual marriage from having any sort of fertility treatment. That means no lesbian could have insemination in Indy...That sucks. Maybe I am just menstrual and everything is getting under my skin, but really all I can say after looking at the news is WHAT THE HELL? I wonder if I throw a shoe at the TV if it will be covered under warranty?

A Quick Note on Hell Week

2005-10-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

Work is extra stressful so I'm extra moody. I cried forever at a movie the other night and DD had to make a midnight Hershey run. One giant bar of chocolate which I consumed in a night. It was one of the great big ones, and I was getting pissed off cause I was wondering who ate it when I came to the realization that I had been alone in the back room and ate my chocolate my damn self and could not blame it on DD and Shinola who wished nothing more than to leave me alone. After that realization I was calm and considerate -the chocolate finally took effect. However, today I have run out of chocolate, my job sucks and is super stressful, I wish I had a punching bag, or one big soundproof room in which I could scream for an hour. In the meantime I'll see if DD will make a run for me, providing I ante up for her and Shinola a little something also...I'm sure I can do that...While they are away I think I'll get a pillow and punch it till it's fluffy. This should alleviate the lack of punching bag issue, as well as make the living room look nice by fluffiness the pillows. This, I know, will make DD happy..

And it begins

2005-10-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is we have reached hell week in the fishbowl. It is PMS time here. Yesterday, I almost cried twice at work...for no real reason. I call these PMS panic attacks. The main distinction between this and a real panic attack is that PMS panic attacks are usually over something that would not bother you and is accompnied by bloating and pimples. You know the kind when you are so pissed off (which doesn't have to have a real cause) and then someone (or something) speaks to you (or gets in your way), and then the next thing you know you are on the floor in the fetal position crying. Yeah...those.

So let it begin. I am the leader here in our little house and my little freak-out signals the beginning of a week-and-a-half of sheer terror. If there is a fight brewing, it will erupt during this time. Tears and Chocolate, that is what it is, tears and chocolate.

Today, I got up late, ate a sandwich (chicken, it was really good) then started watching "Steel Magnolias". Then a Dairy Queen commercial came on. Blizzards rock! So, I made a command decision that Ze and I would go. But then we thought about something. We can get to Steak and Shake quicker. So off we went for Milkshakes (double chocolate chip) and onion rings, which frankly aren't the best onion rings but get the job done. We have dinner with friends tonight. The fishbowl is going on a field-trip.

What kind of gorging and fights may ensue over the next week? Who can say?

Fears about going to a nudist colony

2005-09-30T01:06:00.000-07:00

1. The place will smell like ass
2. How am I going to see a penis and not suck it
3. How am I going to see my friends parents naked
4. How am I going to be able to sneak to the swingers park --just want to see if the floor is sticky
5. There is a dance, will someone get an eye poked out?
6. Will there be slapping of faces due to elongated breasts swinging about?
7. Does the hair fall out on the dance floor?

The final fear:
Where does the sneeze bar

on the buffet go?

REALIZATIONS AFTER GOING TO NAKED CITY

1. It did not smell like ass, it was very clean
2. Shinola got the "Groper" gene from her dad
3. No one in my field of friends will ever get a tattoo of a butterfly

--at the dance party in the strobe lighting, they just look like their dying, grasping for the final flight.

4. Shinola parents look awesome, damn I wish I looked that good.
5. Pray that some men are growers.
6. Nudists are the nicest people in the world AND can drink me under the table
7. Aretha gets most of my drunk calls because her name starts with A.

--I think she should blame her parents
8. Mimosa's the next morning do not count as alcohol.
9. Nudists are huggers and will hug you first time they meet you.

ex. DD walks into the camp, sees a butt... Can't focus.
Meets a member of the camp, tries to shake hands.
Liver --not her real name says

"oh no hon, we hug here."
DD says "we do?"

10. DD still gets laugh attacks when nervous and must be quarantined.
11. If the members are wearing clothes the next day you do not recognize them.
12. Even if still naked do not recognize them because they drank you under the table.

About the RV dwelling Cabana Boy

2005-09-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

In the heart of forgiveness and appreciation

So this does not sound like a sniffling abandoned gf.

He did have pimples, but he let me pop them.

I love to pop pimples.

Am I freak who had a collection of good ones on a lamp?

yes.

He hated having his pimples popped

but let me have my exploding joy.

He found the fact that he lived in a RV down by the river

and had a dog named Farley

ironic and amusing

He didn't mind that our lives would be

discussed with all my friends

If he sees the blog, he would like it and laugh.

Cabana boy never said a condescending

or malicious word to me.

Then left and never came back

without a goodbye --but whatever.

He had long hair, ice blue eyes and a creepy vive.

YUMMY!

He could make me see stars.. Several times in a row

He loves his dog.

He knew Farley would be cared for here

if he couldn't provide for him.

I think he just loved his addictions more than anything else.

Alas,

He was an important to the birth of the bowl

As a male, he lived in this world of estrogen and chaos.

survived or so we think...

Upsides to the bowl

He had free food, lodging, and treats.

you can fill in the definition (flick) of treats

and boobs, boobies everywhere.

A nick name for the ex

2005-09-28T22:35:00.000-07:00

I need a nick name for the ex.

He was the one who entered the fishbowl

then was never heard from again.

quick description:

He was tall

He had great Legs and pimples.

He had long hair.

He had no job.

He was my exquisite little tart

Now what shall we call him?

Tall man

Cabana boy

exquisite little tart

Have an idea? Post it!

About That Literal Breakdancing Incident...

2005-09-28T19:58:00.000-07:00

You see I was only slightly drunk, and supervising the wrong group. Last time I saw Drunk she was on the phone, everyone in the living room was quiet and the group in the garage were dancing, safely. So I thought I'd step outside and have a smoke. About halfway through my smoke I hear the crowd in the garage get louder. I decided it was nothing and leisurely finished my smoke. I came into the living room and that crowd had passed out on Drunks amazingly comfy couch. Then it got really loud out in the garage, and I finally decided to go investigate. No sooner than I'm almost to the door of the garage when I hear a yell "STOMP HARDER" from Drunk then the garage erupts into the "OOOoooohhhh" noise. Immediately knowing something went terribly awry, I looked in and saw Shin on the floor. We got her up and I carried her into the living room and set her down in another one of Drunks amazingly comfortable piece of furniture, the chair and a half. It was a strategic move to achieve the same results as the rest of living room crowd who'd drunk themselves into a stupor; peace and quiet so I could assess the damage. I was slightly drunk myself just not to the point everyone else was and I asked three times if we needed to go to the hospital (thinking of people to call to take us cause I wasn't going anywhere, not only being drunk but also having the tendancy to loose everything, finding my keys would've taken hours). Finally she convinced me that it wasn't that bad, only a strain (and she's had many). The blind cannot leadeth the blind. Later it was confirmed that she had broken her foot. Moral of the story Don't Drink and Attempt RiverDance in your garage if it has a concrete floor.

To set the record straight:

2005-09-28T18:06:00.000-07:00

Drunk Dialer is truly obsessive about cleanning. I have heard that she was not overly clean in the past, but now I swear to you it is almost a problem.

DD was not drunk (don't let her lie to you...it was 9am when this happened) when she grabbed my bare boobs in front of her then bf and did her stunning remdition of "My Milkshakes..."

DD and supervision

2005-09-28T14:33:00.000-07:00

Okay so Drunk Dialer (DD)does need to be supervised when she is well, DRUNK. She calls random people. Once she even called her boss from a bar. She has been know to grab boobs, which I still don't think comes from living with lesbians. She has brought home strangers and stuck things in his naughty places. BTW he had some funky spunk...I had to light a candle.

But over all I can't complain because she needs supervision, so do I. To top it off we found out this year that we can't supervise each other. Yeah, we figured that out when I broke my foot dancing (I was trying to flat-foot or clog...think riverdance kinda) with her in the background shouting "STOMP HARDER", and then she proceeded to call me a wimp when I stopped dancing (due to the broke foot). This all resulted in us having to be separated for the rest of the night.

And yes my parents are nudist and I do go and visit them at thier park. I will be in my second Mystery Dinner next weekend. Yes we do wear clothes for this, actually we dress up in character. No I usually don't go nudy myself, not that I never will...just not there yet.

S&M spinster needs to be supervised

2005-09-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

The obsession with boobs.
It may not be known but I tend to need supervision when I drink.
Or weird things happen, like I go home with some guy and put things in his naughty places, when asked nicely...
Its cool to think when he shit for a week he thought of me..
I make enemies in bars.. A guy said he wanted to entertain us.. so we told him to strip while river dancing. I would have been entertained.
I am the only gf who took her topless roommate to her bf and grabbed her boobs from behing and sang "my milk jugs brings all the boys to the yard." What man wouldn't want to see that?
Moral of story: If I drink with you, chances are I will touch something.
All my friends are lesbians what do you expect?

What You Will see in the Estrogen Fishbowl

2005-09-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

Oh, my god! I am so excited that someone read this. I would like to give ya all a hello.. and say what to expect.
Mud Wrestling.. no
Drinking --usually leads to Boob touching. By both the Lesbians and the Drunk Dialer after many drinks.
Licking --By the Lesbians dog Jessie. "She learned it from watching them."
PMS --hello 3 women. 3 cycles.. tears and chocolate for no reason.
Pics --as soon as we can get that shit together
Dancing at the Nudist colony and at parties held at the fishbowl

News of the Day: Shinola has a part in the Nudist Mystery dinner Theatre!

Welcome to The Estrogen Fishbowl

2005-09-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Estrogen Fishbowl.

Why do we call this Estrogen Fishbowl? Ever seen what happens when you put three women, three dogs (two are female, the male is neutered), a diabetic cat, and the ferret king (also nuetered) together?

We are already arguing about how to do this damn thing, and the background template took ten minutes to decide what to choose. We thought it would be fun to sit down together and get this thing started. Then the fighting and nit picking insued. Okay so here we go.

The Characters:
Ze' Queen of Darkness... don't wake her
Shinola ... She is happiest in the morn.
~Together.. they are The Lesbians...

and

Drunk Dialer... the S&M spinster..