Grace was never my middle name...
I've fallen, tripped, swung and hung my way pretty much all the way up the east coast. I have four primary witnesses to all these incidents. My cousins, and my auntie. They are my best friends and among my greatest supporters. They always cheer me on, they really want to see me regain my balance, they cheer through all my windmills, and staggering, and they always seem to be around when these things are happening. Truly I do better drunk than I ever have sober. Here are a few stories of my greatest blunders in the realm of physics. Somewhere through all of this God and Einstein are getting a big kick outta me. Most memorable among these blunders are Traveling, Boston, At Home, The Possum, Something in the Attic, Gym Shorts Wanted, Please Don't Tell or Mom will Kill Me, Asphyxiation for Lunch, Matrix Madness and Mud & Blood. Occasionally I will write one, for today DD has requested traveling...enjoy!
Traveling
First thing that should probably be known is that I am 5'2. I am not tall at all. I am short. Usually this works well for me. I can slip in and out in a big crowd, swift and nearly unseen. However it can be a huge hindrance as well. I should probably alsomention that I am a thrill seeker. I love a good ride. So I love things like escalator, elevators and my best cheap thrill -the tram at the airport. From the time I hear the warning to please move to the center of vehicle and away from the doors I am thrilled! One day it went very awry.
My aunt and my sister were going on a trip to Disney World. I was about 16 and my sis was 11. We were at the Hartsfield Jackson Airport, which is huge. Sarah and I debated for a moment with our aunt because we were debating taking the moving sidewalk (those are fun to. I have a bionic woman feeling whenever I hop on one), but the fastest way was the tram. One huge ride down a steep, mildly lit escalator and we were there, I was so happy. Unfortunately the airport was crowded. We were packed in like luggage between people wearing suits, and briefcases. Disappointed, I stood there holding on to the pole nearest the door (we were just barely able to squeeze in). Once we came to a stop I had to move back quickly so I didn't get shoved out the door. I moved as far back as I could (which wasn't very far, I was swimming upstream, a taller person wouldn't have been able to get even that far), and grabbed onto one of the leather straps hanging above and waited for the crowd to pass while trying to look for my aunt and sister who had to be very nearby. As soon as I stood on my tip toes and grabbed that leather strap I knew that it was a bad idea and I could not spend the ride like this, but no sooner had I come to this realization than the train took off! Gravity is funny..I find that often The Law of Gravity and Murphy's Law go hand in hand. the train propelled forward and I was pushed back knocking me off of my tip toes. My right arm was gripping the leather strap and the other was trying to regain some sort of balance and hopefully a little dignity. However all I seemed to manage to do wad send myself swinging in an elliptical motion trying to get my little tip toes enough on the ground. At some point during the swing I was twisted around to face the rear of the car and saw my aunt red faced from laughing. Sis was oblivious! She was looking out the window and watching everything fly by, I was pissed! I swallowed my already wounded pride and braced myself for the long haul. We were traveling to the furthest concourse from the actual airport and this trip, while short, happened to be the longest ride you can take on the tram. I had always hoped for this, usually we were a closer gate, so I was missing my first big trip on the tram swinging uncontrollably. My arm was starting to give out, it was shaking and I was trying to get my other arm up to help out but I couldn't get it up there, so now I'm swinging elliptically and my arm is swinging in the same motion . My aunt was rolling...Sister was oblivious. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the tram finally came to an abrupt stop. Gravity has shifted suddenly and is now pushing down, and no longer at an angle. My arm gave out and I fell. I quickly regained my footing and my aunt helped me exit the tram -I was still a little stunned.
A note on my aunt.
Sister and I loved going places with her!! Since we were small we were taken to scitrek, the High Museum (we didn't do that too often scitrek was way cooler), and Fernbank. When we weren't doing something educational we were catching a movie, or going somewhere small and trendy in the city, even a trip to the coffee shop was cool -all the different jars of beans all different flavors and so fragrant, sometimes we'd drop in on a florist in that area who happened to be a friend of hers. When we spent the night she always brought out a special picture book with story, it was my sister and my favorite story Koko's Kitten. If it hadn't been for my aunt my world would be so much smaller that I's impossible to fathom. She introduced us to so many ideas. She is a wonderful person whom I love very much.
Recent Disturbing State of the Airport
The Atlanta airport is huge and international. I love watching people in transit. The hustle and bustle never fails to cheer me up. So anytime I can get there I do. If it weren't sucha treacherous drive I would be there more often just to hang out and shop at all the little specialty stores, since 9-11 this is no longer possible. If you don't have a ticket or purpose it's move along please. This intimidates me and un-nerves me, my favorite place has become a nightmare. On the news I saw a women who was being beat up by a few rogue officers abusing power for parking where she probably shouldn't to get her elderly mother into the car, the mother is using a walker and doing alright but obvoiusly couldn't make the walk to the parking deck (I think that since this happend there are actually more wheelchairs in the airport), the whole time the woman is being beaten she's trying to tell her mother that she's fine, SHES NOT FINE! HE WAS 250lbs AT LEAST, SOLID MUSCLE AND HITTING HER WITH A BILLY CLUB!!!! THE TAPE OF THE ENTIRE INCIDENT WAS SHOWN ON THE NEWS. IS THIS FOR REAL!!! I AM SO OUTRAGED AND ANGRY...THIS WAS ON THE NEWS PEOPLE!!!
Before all this however, it was wonderous and wonderful place..
Traveling
First thing that should probably be known is that I am 5'2. I am not tall at all. I am short. Usually this works well for me. I can slip in and out in a big crowd, swift and nearly unseen. However it can be a huge hindrance as well. I should probably alsomention that I am a thrill seeker. I love a good ride. So I love things like escalator, elevators and my best cheap thrill -the tram at the airport. From the time I hear the warning to please move to the center of vehicle and away from the doors I am thrilled! One day it went very awry.
My aunt and my sister were going on a trip to Disney World. I was about 16 and my sis was 11. We were at the Hartsfield Jackson Airport, which is huge. Sarah and I debated for a moment with our aunt because we were debating taking the moving sidewalk (those are fun to. I have a bionic woman feeling whenever I hop on one), but the fastest way was the tram. One huge ride down a steep, mildly lit escalator and we were there, I was so happy. Unfortunately the airport was crowded. We were packed in like luggage between people wearing suits, and briefcases. Disappointed, I stood there holding on to the pole nearest the door (we were just barely able to squeeze in). Once we came to a stop I had to move back quickly so I didn't get shoved out the door. I moved as far back as I could (which wasn't very far, I was swimming upstream, a taller person wouldn't have been able to get even that far), and grabbed onto one of the leather straps hanging above and waited for the crowd to pass while trying to look for my aunt and sister who had to be very nearby. As soon as I stood on my tip toes and grabbed that leather strap I knew that it was a bad idea and I could not spend the ride like this, but no sooner had I come to this realization than the train took off! Gravity is funny..I find that often The Law of Gravity and Murphy's Law go hand in hand. the train propelled forward and I was pushed back knocking me off of my tip toes. My right arm was gripping the leather strap and the other was trying to regain some sort of balance and hopefully a little dignity. However all I seemed to manage to do wad send myself swinging in an elliptical motion trying to get my little tip toes enough on the ground. At some point during the swing I was twisted around to face the rear of the car and saw my aunt red faced from laughing. Sis was oblivious! She was looking out the window and watching everything fly by, I was pissed! I swallowed my already wounded pride and braced myself for the long haul. We were traveling to the furthest concourse from the actual airport and this trip, while short, happened to be the longest ride you can take on the tram. I had always hoped for this, usually we were a closer gate, so I was missing my first big trip on the tram swinging uncontrollably. My arm was starting to give out, it was shaking and I was trying to get my other arm up to help out but I couldn't get it up there, so now I'm swinging elliptically and my arm is swinging in the same motion . My aunt was rolling...Sister was oblivious. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the tram finally came to an abrupt stop. Gravity has shifted suddenly and is now pushing down, and no longer at an angle. My arm gave out and I fell. I quickly regained my footing and my aunt helped me exit the tram -I was still a little stunned.
A note on my aunt.
Sister and I loved going places with her!! Since we were small we were taken to scitrek, the High Museum (we didn't do that too often scitrek was way cooler), and Fernbank. When we weren't doing something educational we were catching a movie, or going somewhere small and trendy in the city, even a trip to the coffee shop was cool -all the different jars of beans all different flavors and so fragrant, sometimes we'd drop in on a florist in that area who happened to be a friend of hers. When we spent the night she always brought out a special picture book with story, it was my sister and my favorite story Koko's Kitten. If it hadn't been for my aunt my world would be so much smaller that I's impossible to fathom. She introduced us to so many ideas. She is a wonderful person whom I love very much.
Recent Disturbing State of the Airport
The Atlanta airport is huge and international. I love watching people in transit. The hustle and bustle never fails to cheer me up. So anytime I can get there I do. If it weren't sucha treacherous drive I would be there more often just to hang out and shop at all the little specialty stores, since 9-11 this is no longer possible. If you don't have a ticket or purpose it's move along please. This intimidates me and un-nerves me, my favorite place has become a nightmare. On the news I saw a women who was being beat up by a few rogue officers abusing power for parking where she probably shouldn't to get her elderly mother into the car, the mother is using a walker and doing alright but obvoiusly couldn't make the walk to the parking deck (I think that since this happend there are actually more wheelchairs in the airport), the whole time the woman is being beaten she's trying to tell her mother that she's fine, SHES NOT FINE! HE WAS 250lbs AT LEAST, SOLID MUSCLE AND HITTING HER WITH A BILLY CLUB!!!! THE TAPE OF THE ENTIRE INCIDENT WAS SHOWN ON THE NEWS. IS THIS FOR REAL!!! I AM SO OUTRAGED AND ANGRY...THIS WAS ON THE NEWS PEOPLE!!!
Before all this however, it was wonderous and wonderful place..
posted by Anonymous at 1:38 PM
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